Twilight Obsession 101
by asami357
Summary: We've all read Twilight, the story of forever immortal love. Here are 79 ways you know your obsessed! Or think you are! XDD R&R please!


You know your obsessed with Twilight when…

**The book that is the new and improved **_**Cinderella**_**. The series that has caught the hearts of millions that didn't even know they had a heart themselves. The saga that rekindled the hope of true love and soul mates. And I know for a damned fact that your all thinking what I am.**

_Twilight._

**It still blows me away to think that 3 years back, in 2005, this indescribable series started. And let me tell you, the only people that haven't heard of Twilight are dead…..and possibly my parents. ****J****Hahaha, I wish I could say (or type) that I was kidding…but I'm not. Unfortunately. Lol, when I talk about Twilight, my mom thinks it's porn. Rofl! Moving on.**

_**Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse**__**, **_**and **_**Breaking Dawn **_**(with the soon to be coming **_**Midnight Sun**_**) have all grasped the world's attention that even MEN read it. And it's kind of obvious most men aren't into the romance stuff we chicks are into now a days…and since the beginning of Edward's immortal life. ****J**** Heehee, I love Edward! :D Gosh, I'm so off topic. Anyways! I've decided to make a list on how you KNOW your obsessed with Twilight, it's characters, and everything about it in general. Here it is:**

**1) Your dream vacation isn't Hawaii (like some tards) but Forks, Washington.**

**2) You've googled Edward Cullen.**

**3) You've googled Jacob Black.**

**4) You've googled Bella Swan.**

**5) You've googled Seth Clearwater and Leah Clearwater (or any other character).**

**6) You nearly died with happiness and rage when Jacob imprinted on Renesmee.**

**7) You think Rosalie's a bitch for trying to practically BE Renesmee's mom.**

**8) You couldn't believe how dumb you were 4 years back you thought your perfect man wasn't Edward Cullen or Jacob Black.**

**9) When someone makes a dirty doctor joke, you immediately shout " CARLISLE'S MINE AND ESME'S!! LAY OFF!!"**

**10) You let NO ONE touch your Twilight copies.**

**11) You have all the paperback AND hardback covers of Twilight.**

**12) You stay awake at night trying to teach yourself how to mumble in your sleep.**

**13) When your 16 (if you aren't now), you want to own a rusted out, red Chevy.**

**14) You refuse to date any man who doesn't own or like shiny, silver Volvos.**

**15) When you're 18, you're going to change your last name to Black or Cullen.**

**16) When you try to write your own story with your own plot about vampires, your main man is too much like Edward with a rival like Jake.**

**17) You've considered kidnapping Stephenie Myer and death-threatening her into continuing the Twilight series.**

**18) After reading New Moon, you immediately joined a wolf-activist group, protecting the wolves in Forks, Washington.**

**19) Every time you go to the google bar or yahoo, the first thing that comes up when you click on the search bar is "Edward Cullen" and "Twilight". (or any other character you're obsessed with).**

**20) When you go to a fortune teller person, you immediately tell them "Alice Cullen is better at seeing the future than you are!"**

**21) When you go to the Zoo, you immediately go to the "Wolves" section.**

**22) You never go ANYWHERE without something to do with Twilight in your backpack.**

**23) You've bought Lavender lotion and Strawberry shampoo.**

**24) You've considered naming one of your future children after a character.**

**25) You pray to God every night (if you believe in him of course) that you wish to find your Edward Cullen. (or other character.)**

**26) You've bought your boyfriend/husband body glitter.**

**27) You secretly wish for your boyfriend/husband to make you a lullaby.**

**28) You also wish your bf/husband could read your mind.**

**29) You want your honeymoon to be on an Isle named Esme.**

**30) At your lunch table, it's divided to two sides. Werewolf or Vampire.**

**31) You refer to yourself as Switzerland when you can't decide between Jacob or Edward. (yeah one of those days.)**

**32) You refer every topic you talk about to Twilight in some way.**

**33) When you see a little kid dressed as a vampire, you immediately tell them that they need gold eyes, no fangs, and to sparkle.**

**34) You believe that they're real vampires out there.**

**35) Everytime you hear/see something that says "Edward" or "Bella", you frown upon them at how they copied Stephenie Myer.**

**36) You've wanted/bought gold contacts.**

**37) You watch wolves at the zoo for hours waiting for them to change into a hott Indian pack.**

**38)You think that anyone who says that silver bullets can kill werewolves have no lives.**

**39) You think anyone who says that stakes and holy water kill vampires have no lives.**

**40) You think anyone in GENERAL who hasn't read Twilight has and never will have a life until they've read Twilight.**

**41) If you have a brother, you force them to play " Quileute pack" until they've got the part of Seth/Jake/Sam down right.**

**42) You find yourself trying to walk like Alice.**

**43) You plan on implanting sharp teeth when you lose all of your "human" teeth.**

**44) Every thunderstorm, you can't help but wonder how many vampires are playing baseball…**

**45) Every howl you hear at night, you wonder what Jacob and Leah got into a fight about now.**

**46) Your room is the coldest in your house and smells like the sun and daisies.**

**47) Every time a guy/girl asks a guy/girl out, you always whisper while smiling "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb."**

**48) You refer to the library as your meadow.**

**49) You think that every guy named Edward has to dazzle you.**

**50) Every time someone asks you about vampires, you say "They drank animal blood and sparkle."**

**51) For the past 4 years, every Halloween, you've been a vegetarian vampire.**

**52) You want your wedding to be based off of Bella's.**

**53) When you lick frozen jello, you wonder if that's what Edward's lips are like.**

**54) You've tried convincing your dad to become the chief of police.**

**55) When you see tanned shirtless guys, you wonder if that's what Forks is like.**

**56) You don't play vampire or werewolf, you ARE a vampire or werewolf.**

**57) You've cried every time you read the Twilight series even if you've read it hundreds of times.**

**58) You secretly stay up at night, hoping to hear the light steps of Edward's feet outside your window.**

**59) You always check your temperature, hoping to see it rise to 108.7**

**60) Everytime you need to go potty/eat/etc, you tell people/no one, "Sorry, but I need a human moment."**

**61) You plan to kill every Twilight basher who dares to mock Twilight.**

**62) Instead of calling your friends cuss words when your mad, you refer to them as:**

**-Leech**

**-Mongrel**

**-Dog**

**-Bloodsucker**

**63) You cry when you think that 500 years from now, everyone will have forgotten of Twilight and it's love.**

**64) You've considered writing a letter to a publisher to print Twilight into a history book.**

**65) You spend more than half your days looking for the latest updates on the Twilight movie.**

**67) You know/think the Twilight movie is going to suck but you want to see it anyway.**

**68) You grin every time you see a grand piano.**

**69) You laugh at the thought of how pissed off famous dancers would be if Alice was real.**

**70) You don't say "Chuck Norris is so cool…", you say "Emmet Cullen is so awesome…"**

**70) Everytime you use a font on WORD, it's always in either Edward's or Bella's handwriting.**

**71) You've tried making vampire venom.**

**72) Everytime you think of war, you always think about how there's probably a Jasper Cullen out there fighting…**

**73) On your X-mas list, you only want one thing: Edward Cullen/Jacob Black/etc.**

**74) You trip over yourself and laugh at how Bella does/did the same thing.**

**75) You gawk at every person that's pale with mahogany or bronze hair.**

**76) You refuse to believe that vampires aren't real.**

**77) You refuse to believe that werewolves aren't real.**

**78) You've spent over an hour reading this journal.**

**79) You spent over an hour writing a journal/email about Twilight.**


End file.
